Workbook Introduction

Shoplifting Addiction Workbook.

Introduction

The purpose of this workbook is to provide a beginning resource for your recovery from an addiction to stealing. This is a self-guided workbook that calls on you to take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions. These pages are designed to help shine a light on the path to an honest life of integrity. You must choose to open your eyes, focus on the path, and take the first step on the exciting journey back to a life of honesty.

Feel free to print off these lessons. Simply press the print feature on your computer and the whole lesson will print neatly onto 8 1/2 x 11 paper. There will be lines throughout the lessons for you to write in your responses. Alternatively, you can read the text on this site and write your responses in a notebook. It is important to write your responses on paper as writing is clinically proven to greatly enhance your learning, and you will need every advantage to beat this addiction habit. Please don’t take shortcuts in your recovery and skip this important step of writing out your answers. Taking shortcuts is what got you here to begin with.

Who is this workbook for?

Shoplifting is America’s #1 property crime according to PriceGun.com. The National Association of Shoplifting Prevention (NASP)  estimates that approximately 1 out of every 11 Americans are shoplifters and that “more than 10 million people have been caught shoplifting in the last five years” (2010-2015).  It has been estimated that there are 550,000 incidents of shoplifting every day and that the value of the items stolen is $30,000,000 per day. The problem is a vast blight on society.

There are many reasons why people shoplift. Generally speaking, people steal due to greed, economic need, to fund an addiction (such as gambling, drugs, etc.), peer pressure, to get a thrill, or because of an addictive compulsion.  People who shoplift because of an addiction are attempting to feel better about unresolved personal issues not directly related to theft such as past trauma, depression, anger, feeling life is unfair, etc. People addicted to shoplifting make up approximately 46% of those individuals involved in shoplifting according to Terrace Shulman in his book, “Something for Nothing.” This workbook is designed to help the last group; the 46% who steal compulsively. This workbook is for you if you are shoplifting, you want to stop, but you just can’t seem to figure out how to stop.

What does it mean to have a shoplifting addiction?

Before we get started in the workbook, I would like to define what it means to be addicted to shoplifting.

NOTE: I use the term “shoplifting” synonymously with “stealing” and “theft.” You might be compulsively stealing from work or skimming money from the books. This material applies to you if you are stealing. I am primarily speaking to those who shoplift because it is the most prevalent form of theft.

Why are you reading this workbook? It is likely that you have been stealing, but you have not been able to stop yourself. Why do you think that is? Are you just greedy, dishonest, or lazy? It is probable that the answer to that question is – NO! Most shoplifters are generally honest people and responsible members of the community, but they have one big dark secret in shoplifting that they may not fully understand.

Shoplifting addiction defined:

First, let’s look at an insightful definition of addiction. “My definition of addiction is any behavior that gives you temporary relief, temporary pleasure, but in the long term causes harm, has some negative consequences and you can’t give it up, despite those negative consequences.” Gabor Maté

Shoplifting addiction, also known as compulsive stealing, is a behavioral addiction characterized by the uncontrollable urge to steal regardless of whether the individual needs or wants those items. This addiction can cause significant harm to individuals, including legal consequences, financial problems, and damage to personal relationships. This fits perfectly with Gabor Maté’s definition above.

While there is no single cause of shoplifting addiction, it is often associated with underlying psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, or trauma. People with this addiction may experience a rush of pleasure or relief while stealing, which reinforces the behavior and can make it difficult to stop. An addiction physically changes the structure of the brain’s neural pathways and reward system, thus making addiction both a mental and physical issue. There is strong evidence in the field of neural science to show that addiction is not a disease, but rather, it is your brain’s natural way of learning – gone astray. Marc Lewis, an expert in neural science and author of the book, “The Biology of Desire,” argues that addiction is the result of “deep learning”, probably triggered by stress or alienation. It can duly be unlearned by forging stronger synaptic pathways via better habits. This is good news because it means that overcoming addiction to shoplifting is in your power and not in the hands of medical professionals. You can rewire your own brain and learn to think in a healthy way without the need to steal. ( Click Here to read “The Biology of Desire” free!)

Terrance Shulman, probably a prominent authority on shoplifting addiction, defines addictive-compulsive theft as follows:

1. Recurrent failure to resist obsessive, addictive, or compulsive thoughts/urges to steal objects which often are used even if not needed. (There are varying degrees of premeditation.)
2. An ever-present tension usually felt well before committing the theft.
3. Feels pleasure/relief at the time of or just after committing theft, but usually guilt or shame afterward.
4. Stealing is very often an “acting out” of anger or a way of trying to “make life right.”
5. Most people who steal are good/caring/law-abiding (some get cross-addicted or get addicted to money or thrills)

So what does it mean when a person is addicted to shoplifting? Dr. Lance M. Dodes, M.D. says that an addiction relieves a feeling of helplessness about some area of your life. He argues that addiction is a behavior intended to reverse a profound, intolerable sense of helplessness. This helplessness is always rooted in something deeply important to the individual. Addiction, therefore, does not mean that you are weaker or less moral than others. It means that you feel helpless about something important to you and you are stealing in an attempt to deal with that feeling of helplessness. That’s right! If you have been thinking about your shoplifting as separate from the rest of your life, your thinking is probably wrong. Your addiction is intertwined and connected with the rest of your life-issues.

Your family and friends who discover that you are shoplifting may start asking, “Why are you doing this to yourself?” What they are really asking is, “Why are you doing this to yourself, and how could you do this to us?” Dr. Dodes gives the analogy of a person trapped in a mine that has caved in. That person wants out of a helpless situation, so he starts to claw at the fallen rocks and rubble. Fingernails are broken, skin is sliced and bleeding, and perhaps even bones are broken. Would you ask that person, “Why are you involved in self-destructive behavior?” The answer is obvious. The person just wants to break through the wall to freedom from his helpless situation, and until then freedom is found he will continue the self-destructive behavior of clawing at the rock. He knows no other way to help himself. Shoplifting may be your way of clawing your way out of situations in your life that you feel helpless to resolve. This feeling of helplessness could be emerging from past traumas that your brain just cannot cope with directly.

Shoplifting Seen In Real Life

Now let’s see what an addiction to stealing looks like in the lives of others.

My Story of Shoplifting Addiction:

I started stealing about five years before I was caught. Despite having no financial hardship, I had plenty of unresolved personal issues. Even though I knew it was wrong, I rationalized my actions by telling myself that the big stores would never miss the money or that I deserved to take things because of poor service or high prices. Of course, I was just lying to myself.

Initially, I started stealing small items, but soon I moved on to larger and more expensive ones. I felt invisible, using my respectable appearance to take advantage of the store staff. My theft started to take up all my spare time and even cut into my work schedule. I would steal things I wanted or for gifts, but also items I didn’t even need. I thought about stealing all the time and felt a rush of satisfaction for “getting away with” it. Although I had inner conflict over the immorality of my actions, I suppressed those feelings and celebrated my “victories” over the shops.

In 2005, I was finally caught and spent one night in jail. I thought it was just a slap on the wrist until I discovered that the store had video evidence of my previous visits and that I was being charged with two felonies and a misdemeanor. I spent the next four years trying to get my record sealed before my business clients and the State Licensing Board required background checks.

Unfortunately, in 2007, I started stealing again, even while trying to get my record sealed. I convinced myself that I was a smarter thief and that I would never get caught again. I was ashamed to admit that my goal was to take something from every store I entered, and I was successful almost every time.

Despite my turmoil and fear of losing my clients and professional license, I couldn’t accurately assess the risk, and I was oblivious to my self-destructive addiction. Shoplifting was a dark secret I kept from myself. On the one hand, I wanted to be a good person, giving to others and feeling high levels of empathy for everyone in my life. On the other hand, I was doing bad things, stealing from others, and feeling no empathy for my victims.

In 2013, I was caught again stealing a Magic Marker from Walmart. I was not as smart as I thought and didn’t factor in the unfortunate coincidence that led to my arrest. As I sat in the back of the police car, looking through the cage divider, everything began to clear up in my mind. I realized I had a real problem and needed to address it.

I got serious about addressing my shoplifting problem by studying, reading books, taking online courses, and seeing therapists. I learned that my addiction was caused by underlying issues of helplessness, and I sought to relieve these feelings through shoplifting. I worked through these issues methodically and am still resolving them directly, rather than through shoplifting. I’ve been feeding my recovery and starving my addiction ever since I decided to change my life. My wife considered leaving me because of my self-destructive behavior, and my new charges threatened my business and our house. The guilt, shame, regret, and self-loathing were back, but I was determined to overcome my addiction.

Other shoplifting addiction stories:

Now, listen to shoplifters describe some of the symptoms and results of shoplifting and see if you can relate to them:

“I spend so much time thinking about shoplifting that I don’t have any quality time left to spend with my family or my hobbies. I wake up in the morning and I daydream about what I am going to take next. I want to stop, but I am obsessed with the thrill of getting away with it”  –Samantha

“I grew up in poverty. If I stop stealing I fear I will not be able to provide for my family. Deep down I know my thinking is wrong, but the fear remains, and so I keep stealing.” Andy

“Why shouldn’t I have nice things like other people have? Besides, it is the store that bombards me with advertisements that tell me I am a loser if I don’t have their products. I am simply making sure I am not a loser by stealing the things the store tells me I must have to be cool.” –Marley

“I am depressed because I want to be a good person, holding to the moral values my parents taught me, but my thoughts get hijacked and I find myself in the store again doing the very thing that contributes to my depression. Is there any way out after 35 years of daily theft?” –Trevon

“When I steal it is like a drug. There is a real thrill, like a high,  and a sense that I am good at something. Deep inside I know that my stealing is not a good thing, but it has become part of who I am. If I don’t steal for a while, I start to get a craving that is only quenched with another ‘successful getaway’ at one of my favorite targeted stores.” –Anne

“I feel like I am living a double life, and I fear that someone will find out my secret identity and that they would be ashamed of me. Shoplifting is eating me up on the inside, but everyone close to me thinks I am an honest and trustworthy person.” –John

Do you see yourself in the words of other people who have been addicted to shoplifting? Most people caught up in this addiction feel that they are alone and have a unique problem that others cannot understand. They therefore find comfort in knowing that they are not alone and that many others know exactly what they are going through.

You have now heard my story, listened to a few statements from other shoplifters, read Dr. Dodes’ idea about a stealing addiction, and read Terrance Shulman’s description of what addictive compulsive theft looks like.

Use the lines below to talk to yourself about your own addictive compulsive stealing and how you relate to the words above. Do you see yourself in any of the stories, statements, or definitions? Take time to write a few lines about how addiction has affected your life and the lives of your family and friends. Have you made a decision to stop stealing?

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“If you quit trying now you will greatly decrease your odds for success.”
–Unknown

Lighthouse Resources

www.helpforshoplifters.com/workbook

www.theshulmancenter.com